It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written a post on here… But with a baby and working part-time, life just gets in the way, and blogging fell by the wayside. It was actually at my husband’s insistence that I write a blog post, that prompted me to write this realization.
For Christians out there, the title of my blog post will sound familiar. It’s from scripture after all (Luke 12:48). The exact translation of this quote may vary depending on the bible you read, but the message is the same. To whom much is given, much will be required.
So what does this have to do with marriage? Well, if you asked me a few months or even years ago, I would say nothing. But now I realize it has a lot to do with marriage and relationships. Allow me to elaborate.
A few months ago, my husband and I got into a disagreement about something and it escalated over into an argument or fight. Words were said, feelings were hurt and you know how the rest goes. I was angry at my husband, and I’m sure he was too with me. We went to our respective corners of the boxing ring.
Around that time, I also happened to get a phone call from a wise friend of mine. She asked me how things were going; I relayed to her what I was dealing with at the moment. I was upset and I needed someone to talk to, to work through my feelings. I told her I felt like apologizing and making up, but it bothered me that I was always the one trying to make amends first (at least it seemed like that to me). Why couldn’t my husband make the effort to reconcile first? Why didn’t he try to apologize first? Why is it always me? I remember asking her in frustration…
My friend listened to my story, and then, in her calm wisely manner she said to me these words, “…to whom much is given, much will be required”. She went on to explain; I was given a gift to want to make things right when things went sour. I was given a gift to be able to take initiative to make-up and reconcile after a fight with my husband. I was given a gift to apologize and take responsibility for my part in the fight, even if it wasn’t all my fault. I was a given a gift to do all this even though I knew the situation might not go as planned. She said, “Because you were given this gift, you are required to make use of it. Your husband has other gifts (this isn’t one of his) and he will be required to make use of the gifts he is given too.”
Pretty powerful words. It made me reflect on things. From a totally egotistical point of view, of course it didn’t seem fair. Of course it didn’t seem right that I felt like I am always the one apologizing. Of course, of course, of course… But from a scriptural, sacrificial perspective, I was using a gift I was given. I was using this gift for the greater good. I was using this gift to restore peace, harmony and unity once again in my relationship with my husband. And that is a beautiful thing.
Putting this scriptural verse into practice wasn’t easy. Things didn’t go as I thought it would. It wasn’t all peaches and creams right away as I would have loved it to be. In fact, things seemed to stay stagnant for a bit. I’ll be honest. I wanted to give up and go back to sulking, being defensive and angry in my corner of the boxing ring because I wasn’t getting the results I thought I would.
But I persisted.
And then things turned around.
I just kept making use of my “gift” as my friend reminded me too, and things turned around in our relationship and it is even better than I had imagined.
What gifts are you blessed with? Are you making use of them for the greater good of your marriage?