I knew about this realization for a while but decided to do a post about it now, given a blogger’s recent comment to me. Under Realization #15: Your Spouse Isn’t Going to Change…Really!“, one blogger commented that this blog is a great way to vent…but productively! I fully agree with that statement! (On a side note, I also hope that other bloggers see that I am trying to promote the positive(s) of marriage on this blog!)
To me, there are times when you may feel the need to vent in marriage. (In fact, bottling up how you feel is not a good idea, as it can build up and lead to a bigger problem in the long run — a post for another day!) It’s okay to vent, but you don’t have to bad-mouth your spouse in the process. In fact, let me re-phrase… It is possible to vent without having to bad-mouth your spouse in the process!
I think realizing the importance of not talking poorly about your spouse is important. The last thing you ever want to do is talk badly about your spouse in front of family, friends or even strangers. (By the way, I am referring to bad-mouthing when your spouse is not around…although I do know some couples that do it when their spouse is present too!) For one thing, it’s not a nice thing to do. For another, if the tables were turned, how would you feel if they bad-mouthed you to others? Exactly!
The other thing to remember is that while it can be tempting to talk poorly about your spouse when you are feeling a bit stressed or overwhelmed about your marriage, or because your spouse is getting on your nerves and you are not feeling too fondly about them (perhaps because they left the laundry basket in the way again for you to trip over, didn’t do something you asked them to do, or whatever else it may be), this all changes when you are on good terms with them. Not only that, but having known what you said about your spouse to other people during these bad times will probably play on your conscience during the good times. Even worse, is if your spouse finds out that you have been talking poorly about them. While they may not get upset at you (as you might expect), it may change their perception of you (even worse)!
Bottom line? Always speak highly of your spouse no matter what the circumstances may be, because you never know when your words may come back to bite you in the you-know-what!