Why did I get married? Hmm…
The question is an interesting one, because it doesn’t really have a universal answer to it. People get married for different reasons. While there may be some similarity in the decision process (e.g. I love “X”, I want to spend the rest of my life with “X” etc.), the reasons are never completely identical. Most people including myself, would even need to think about the answer before responding. Sure, it’s easy and often typical to respond that you married your husband or wife because you love them, but that’s a given. Love is essential in getting you to the altar, but what, in addition to love made you want to make that committment to that person? Ironically, even in the movie Why Did I Get Married? by Tyler Perry, the question is left unanswered – on purpose it seems! It’s as though the question is there to make you think — to reflect on your own marriage and why you wanted to get married, and even to some extent, why you still want to be married.
So… why did I get married? Because…
- I loved my husband.
- I could see myself growing old (and wrinkly!) with him in the future.
- I could see myself having a family with him – kids, dog and cat in tow!
- I saw someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself.
- I saw someone who pushed me to be a better person.
- It just felt right…
These were my reasons for getting married not so long ago, and these are also my reasons for wanting to stay married (just change the wording to present tense).
A few times I’ve had to think about why I wanted to be with my beau. Sometimes (like when I was angry or upset with him) it was hard to see why. Most of the time though I feel like my reasons are pretty much similar to yours.
Oh, and I have to thank you for all the advice I got from your blog. It really helped me to kind of analyze some of my behaviors in the past. It’s going to come in handy since I just got engaged. Any other nuggets of wisdom will be most definitely appreciated. ^^
Thanks for commenting and thank you for your kind words. I haven’t had any profound nuggets of wisdom of late (just ordinary, everyday realizations…)—I’m crossing my fingers though!!
And you are right, it is definitely tough to see why you married or want(ed) to be with someone when you are angry or upset with them!! A negative mood definitely affects your perception of things.
Congrats on your engagement!! Bask in the moment and your big day–it goes by so fast!
^^ Thank you, and I’m looking forward to you posting your next post.
I’m celebrating 1 year of marriage next week and this post did make me think a bit…I never really looked deeper into my decision since it just always felt right. If I did have to pick just one reason though, I would have to steal one of yours: “I saw someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself.” That’s a pretty powerful thought. Thanks for sharing!
Congrats on your 1 year anniversary! …..It is a pretty powerful and wonderful thing to realize and by all means if it’s true for you, then “steal” it and share it with your other half!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
If I’m honest with you, the first time I got married was to escape what I thought was an overwhelming and smothering environment at home. My parents seemed to be “too involved” in my life. They wanted to know where I was, why, and with whom. The passing of time has shown me that this is what caring and loving parents do but sadly, at the time I just saw my folks as meddling in my life 24/7. Needless to say, marrying to escape doesn’t prove to be the formula of success and my marriage ended seven years later. To this day, I’m surprised it lasted that long. Like you mention, people get married for different reasons. I want to think that for the most part, people marry because they’ve found someone who shares common interest and really cares about the well-being of his/her spouse.
Hi Bella…Thanks for commenting and sharing your story
………….7 years is a long time, considering the reason you got married was to escape your parents. I’m sure there are still many younger people who do this (get married to escape their parental environment)—sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. However, I don’t think that is a strong enough reason to want to marry someone. As you point out, people should marry someone who cares for them and whom they share common interests—-that’s so important in a relationship!