I never thought I would ever use the words “necessary evil” and “date night” in the same sentence. After all, a necessary evil is something that you do not like, but which you know must exist or happen. But who doesn’t like date night?
…Apparently, some couples don’t.
A few months ago, I came across an article that talked about how date night can be tedious and often stressful for some married couples, in particular parents. Date night became more of a routine they felt they should do in order to rekindle their relationship, as opposed to something they wanted to do. More often than not, their date night left them feeling more exhausted than invigorated by the time they got home.
As you probably figured out by now, especially if you’ve read my Valentine’s Day post, I’m ALL for date night. (Note: my husband and I don’t call it “date night”; it’s just a date for us, but I will use the term “date night” in this post.) I think date night is important to rekindle the connection in your relationship, since the everyday mundane routine of life can take a toll on it. I think it’s even more important for parents to have date nights because their relationship sometimes takes a backseat once kids enter the picture.
That being said, I am not a fan of regular date nights. So although my husband and I do go out on a date, we don’t have a set day or night that we do them. I tried to do that when we first got married and we never ended up sticking with it (although that might be a good thing now that I think about it)!
Often times, we’ll go a month or even longer without doing anything special. Other times, 2 weeks is long enough for me and I’ll suggest that we do something on the weekend…or even right now — even if it’s a Tuesday evening!!…Sometimes my husband and I just decide to do something on a whim on a weeknight instead of waiting until the weekend comes around, and since we don’t have kids yet, we have that luxury. (I’m milkin’ it while I can!!)
What we do on a date also varies. It could be dinner at a restaurant or even a movie (yes I know, so typical).Or even sipping a McCafe (which is the next best thing when all the cafes in town have closed for the night)! It might be attending a local event in our city. It could be a budget friendly option like a candlelit dinner at our dining table or out on our deck (with our cat of course). Or perhaps we may hit the road on the motorcycle and see where it takes us…
Basically, date night for us is anything that allows us to get away (get away are the keywords here) from our everyday routine and spend time together doing something out of the ordinary!
I always find it interesting when some couples complain about doing date nights. Perhaps they find it too cliché, kind of like Valentine’s Day. Perhaps the words “date night” is enough to elicit a groan! Perhaps date night has become somewhat of a routine for them (every Friday night, or once a month etc.) and has lost its excitement altogether. Perhaps it is just too tiring and exhausting now that they have kids. Or perhaps they no longer want to make the effort to “date” each other anymore…In these instances, I can see how date night can become a necessary evil.
But date night is not a necessary evil (or even a necessary good–I don’t like the word necessary). Rather, it is just important. Important for you, your spouse, your marriage and your kids. (A strong, loving, solid marital unit is a powerful, positive influence in a child’s life.)
The purpose of date night is about reconnecting with your other half. Talking, sharing, laughing and just being with them. It’s about seeing each other with a whole new pair of lenses and remembering what made you fall in love with each other all over again. …It’s a bit like courtship. And if we put in the effort and time to court each other when we were dating, then we can take the time to court each other and have “date nights” now that we are married. Don’t you think?